Guide to Happiness(??)

Today I felt like writing philosophy… don’t know whether thoughts coming to me at this time are right or wrong… but its just tht I felt like penning down these thoughts which occurred to me while traveling in my Office bus. Ever wondered at times why we feel so content, but at times we feel so insecure… so incomplete??? Well Philosophy is definitely not my cup of tea… but then wat I believe is tht every person has a philosopher hidden within oneself… He has his own abstract ways of interpreting things he deems favorable to himself or the way he leads his life... and I am no exception to the rule…

I have been following Bhagwad Gita as and when possible for me to do so. The gist of it lays in the verse “Karmanye vaadikarastu Maa faleshu kadachan…” in short, do not expect the fruits of your hard work. Well do not expect anything in lieu of anything!!! Just do what you feel is your duty without expecting the fruits in return. We think of our relationships as give and take relationships… We love a person, we expect the other person to love us. We care for a person, we expect the same kind of love from the other side… We make friends and are friendly to others, we expect the same friendship from others… We trust others and expect others to trust us… Well so many expectations… We expect things to turn out the way we want them to be… We expect all things to suit only our needs…

What harm does “expecting something” do to us? Well, ever imagined what happens when things don’t turn out the way we want them to be? Disappointment is wat which sets into life as an aftereffect… Disappointments leads to sour moods… hampers our relationships with other people, we tend to feel tht we have no other goal left in life… and in some people this can lead to suicidal tendencies… so how can we let ourselves come out of these “at times difficult” situation??? What I would suggest is tht do not expect anything… Just lead life the way it comes to you… Shower love, care, friendship, trust on whoever you feel like… but don’t ever expect any such thing in return… If you get such things by the Grace of God, consider yourself lucky, but don’t expect it to sustain for quite a long time becoz things do change…

Adding a personal touch, Me as a person used to expect lot many things from other people… there hav been times when I expected people to respond I a particular way and when they failed to do so I got disappointed. There have been times when I expect things to be the way I want them, but lost my peace of mind when it turned out the other way round… so what lesson I have learnt from all this is tht, Do not expect any favourable situation. In fact, always expect the worst…

In case you expect the worse, and suppose things turn out just fine, you have a reason to smile, but if they don’t, atleast you wont be disappointed since you aleady had anticipated such a situation. So I keep on telling myself to not expect anything.

Putting it a bit jocularly, I hav seen a mail forward in my inbox which said, “Girls marry a guy thinking that he will change, and guys marry a girl thinking that she wont, but both are disappointed after marriage”. So you see, if you don’t expect a rosy future, there is no scope for you to be disappointed since you dint expect anything. I hav friends telling me to “be positive” whn I start thinking of unfavorable situations. Could be by intuition, but I hav experienced tht wen I expect the unexpected, I tend to take things a bit lightly if they happen to be negative. It could be my mind’s way of evading situations I feel insecure about, but definitely it has helped me a lot.

I normally expect people to behave the way I want them to be, I expect people not to change the way they are… and figuratively, why should they change? I mean I don’t understand why people change… mite be due to age, we don’t normally have the same emotions we used to hav 10 years back.. the whole point tht I want to make is… People do change and its natural for us to change… but it becomes difficult for us to digest this fact sometimes… The same person we used to call as “best friend” in school and the same person now… not even a friend… I am emotionless… am I? hav I changed? Has my friend changed?? What is it tht has changed?? I hav no answer to this except to accept tht time has changed and we no longer feel like sharing the same old bond now as we used to do earlier… well… and how far is it right for me to expect the same friendship?? So don’t expect the other person not to change with time…

Another perspective I would like to highlight is the life partner incident which I hav already referred to jocularly earlier… Guys normally to impress girls do things which in normal scenarios they wouldn’t do… get them gifts, give their perspectives more importance than their own… this is done with the sole purpose of impressing the girl… but then wat happens wen the girl is impressed and they are married. Guys find no reason or need to impress the same girl now as they hav already achieved their target… getting the girl. But then wat happens to the girl? She having got used to all this antics of the guy expects more and more from him… but since the guy is satiated, the girl lends up in disappointment… Had she not expected anything, she would be lot happier… and the same thing mite apply the other way round to (n.b. I am not a feminist).

Everytime I decide to expect less, I end up expecting something or the other from someone or the other. However I tell my mind to do it every time I feel hurt and rejected, I end up expecting… how can I breach this mindset of mine??? Wat I feel is I should make a sustained effort to accomplish this task. Every time I should remind myself to expect less…I sometimes wonder why God has made this world such a complex thing to live in? Why cant we all stay together in peace and harmony??? Why should there be heartbreaks? Why should there be breach of trusts??? Why do humans have emotions and guilt feelings??? People say tht challenges make a man stronger… but wats the need of being stronger when therez no need?? If everyone was same, had no feelings, could live just for the sake of living, wouldn’t it be beneficial to all??? But God has definitely an answer to these questions of mine… but I still ask Why???

My Transition from Hyderabad to Goa

My Transition from Hyderabad to Goa…

Friends… Today m back again with yet another blog. This time I’l write about my transition experience from Hyderabad to Goa… Though it had become very difficult for me to leave Hyderabad and be back to my home Goa, I had already made up my mind for the change. I had planned in my journey in advance. I was supposed to take the train to Goa from Hyderabad’s Kacheyguda station on 27th June 2008, 9.00 pm. I would reach Goa on the 28th June 2008 at about 2.30 pm. Was supposed to take rest on 29th and prepare for my encounter with the new job and its formalities. I was supposed to join duty on the 30th of June… had a pre planned timetable in mind of things to do right from the time I boarded the bus to the time I would enter the new company premises… but I didn’t know at tht time what ordeals lay ahead for me… turn of events leading to surprise situations I was least prepared for. Wel.. il start writing about my experiences from the time Sriman came to Hyderabad…

25th June… It was my last day at CA… felt very bad. I had to wind up with all the formalities of resignation with the company; I had to collect all the things which I had used and cluttered my desk and pedestal for 2 years at CA;I had to write a “last day” mail to my friends… had to take backups of personal mails… Meet all friends whom I wouldn’t meet again sooner… well lots of work to do… but I could finish everything by the stipulated 7.00pm deadline tht I had set for myself, as Sriman was supposed to be at my flat at about 8.00 pm tht evening. I left the company premises with all my belongings, meeting few people and with a plan to come back after a day to show the campus to Sriman and bid adieu to alll. I reached home at about 8.00 pm; the exact time when Sriman had reached the flat. We got ready and again left for the place: Celebrations… the place I was supposed to give a treat to my lunch group.

The treat was cool… I could take some video clips as remembrance of the place I loved so much… The next day plan was hectic. I had to send 2 of my luggage bags to Goa using the bus to goa service. So next day me and Sriman both went to the Nampally office and did the needful. We had lunch in a “not so cool.. but a cool” place… and then we dashed off to the MMTS station. First time in my life I traveled without a ticket… not because I dint want to buy, but because the train was almost leaving, and If I had waited in the long queue, it would mean a flop show of my plans. Ok… we then came back to Begumpet and headed for lifestyle. Sriman bought couple of cool clothes there. Again I had to hurry and rush back coz we had to give another long pending treat. This time it was for my ex roomies with whom I had spent about 1.5 years. It was a gr8 get together. And this time it was just not roomies, but with their spouses… a party we never had had before… Shalini and her fiancée Santosh, Sandhya and Mahender, Swetha and Srikiran, ME and Sriman, and paddu with Bahula. The evening ended eventfully.

I was supposed to take Sriman to CA to show the campus and also to bid final goodbye to my friends. We finished packing all our stuff and could reach CA only by 1.00 pm. We had lunch along with Rajesh, had a tour of the campus… believe me, it felt so odd there tht day… I used to roam with authorized ID card, and there I was roaming with visitor card. I met all my friends and bid adieu to all of them. Finally came to Breakout area… my last coffee with my lunch group there… Rashmi finally dropped us back to the Allwyn junction. I was feeling really bad… but there was nothing I could do. I was getting the feeling tht I was seeing all those things.. those roads for the last time… back home I finished with the last packing. I handed over the keys to the house owner. I had asked for a cab from the local cab service company. The cab was scheduled for 6.00 pm to Kacheyguda. We reached home at about 5.15 with just 45 mins for the cab to arrive. My lunch group had a train to tirupati at 8.00pm so I was certain of meeting them at the station… Finally we got into our cab, but due to the incessant rains in Hyderabad tht day, all the roads were congested with traffic. So the train to Tirupati left when I was half way through. We reached the station at 8.30, hired a coolie to carry the heavy bags. But by the time we reached the platform we heard an announcement, “The bogies to Vasco are cancelled”. All the hell broke loose on me that time. We were stranded at the platform on a remote station with 8 bags and no mode of transport in sight and at tht point of time at night. Sriman went to the station to enquire about the cancellation and I was left alone… Here started my ordeals…

I was talking to my lunch group who was in the train and also to my mom about the course of action to be taken in tht situation wen I started getting call waiting from Suresh. And I was more than happy when he said tht he was at the station to see me off tht time… thanked God for sending an extra person to help… We hired a coolie again and came outside the station when Sriman went to get the ticket cancelled. We decided to stay in a hotel closeby to the station and go by bus to Goa the next day… I waited with Suresh outside the station praying to God to help me out in this difficult situation. I just happened to pray… lo and behold! There arrived a cab who agreed to drop us at Nampally (about 10 km from the current station) . I then planned to go there since the bus to Goa also originated from there. We asked the driver to drop us to a decent hotel close to the Nampally railway station. The driver took us to a lodge which I could consider as “not suitable to stay”. But finding no other option, we thought of staying there for the night. We ordered for food at 10.30 pm and it got delivered at 12.00 midnite… We then decided not to go by bus the next day as me and Sriman both get nauseated due to such a long bus journey… kindof a “longbusjourneyphobia”…We decided to book a flight ticket. Immediately we called up Suresh and asked him to check the ticket price… it came upto 16K and we finally decided to stay at Hyderabad the next day too and then leave for Goa on 29th due to the cheaper flight ticket since I was to join my new company on 30th. I decided to show some places around to Sriman. That morning we went to a nearby hotel for breakfast and also to send our bags by bus to Goa… we came across a hotel close by which was much decent, clean and had appropriate service for t he same cost we paid at the hotel the previous night… we decided to shift to this one immediately for 1 day that we would be at Hyderabad… and there we shifted to this hotel “Rajmaata”. We also sent out 4 of our bags by bus and got relieved when finally Sriman could get the air tickets to Goa on phone.

We took some rest at the hotel in the afternoon and then set towards “Eat street” by MMTS. Dhiru had promised to join us there and also Suresh had promised us a parting farewell teat… Me and Sriman reached about half n hour early and I could eat my favourite “Amor” icecream… I wanted Sriman to hav it earlier… but could not do so due to time constraint… it rained heavily then, but we were still joined by dhiru, his roomie and Suresh. We finally had dinner at “Waterfront Restaurant”. And set out to the hotel by MMTS. We had to leave our hotel at 9.30 am on 29th to go to Begumpet where we had a shuttle to the airport. Our flight was supposed to be at 3.30 pm. Finally with all apprehensions about the flight getting delayed which I had in my mind or for tht matter even cancelled, I boarded the flight and reached Goa at the destined arrival time. There ended my ordeal… huh… wat a sigh of relief…

So that was another of my experience with life’s ordeals… sometimes you never know what lay ahead for us… but being prepared for such kinda situations and to take correct steps to land you out of trouble is wat is important in life. This was an incident I wouldn’t forget since it made me more strong to overcome such incidents… Now when I look back and remember tht time wen I was stranded on the platform, I recollect how I had prayed earnestly and how I felt God had sent help in the form of people known or unknown when asked for… So I end this blog with the belief in God and belief in self emphasized in my mind… wish I will be able to come out of life’s more complex problems when need be…