A date with life - 1

Today m going to write about one of my date with life. I know it will raise a lot of questions regarding what this blog is about. Its nothing new that i write, could be just old wine in a new bottle. I will keep adding chapters to this series as and when i feel i had a date with life...

When i started gathering my thoughts as to how to put them across, an incident happened which totally changed my thought flow. Well folks, today i am going to write something about life, a god given gift and how we can date it to get the maximum pleasure out if it.

I met a school mate of mine online a couple of days back. I am frank to tell that this blog is dedicated to him, but might be a case with lots many people. People are so frantic about life now a days which makes me feel that life is much cheaper than death. Life has really lost its value. Well coming to my friend, i didn't know this guy much when in school. I left that school to join another one in my 8th standard that's a whopping 14 years back. So we were not at all in contact. Thanks to Orkut somehow we met online. and started chatting at times on GTalk.

Things were proceeding pretty fine enough when one day this guy comes and tells me that he doesn't want to live any more and that he thinks he will put an end to his life. And the obvious reason being "failure in love". Well... I was a bit hysterical first... didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this particular case. It has always happened to me that people come and tell me their woes and i try to help as much as possible. I was once upon a time a so called as Agony aunt... So if i sometimes feel like changing my profession it could be something like counseling people. That way it wouldn't be so boring cause each person behaves so differently irrespective of the other. Jokes apart...

Well I listened to his inputs and decided it was time for some thoughts to brainwash. My friend was in no mood to listen tell me that he has stopped thinking. I just thought of penning this down so that if at all someone who has a same problem reads this, it might be useful. What is life? What is its lifespan? what is it that keeps us going... emotions, energy? and what is like dying? what is death actually?

Fine let me try to answer these questions how i feel about it. Life is something which is very rare and short. We are born only once (Religious psychology apart, we can't be sure whether we will be the same person in the next life if at all there is one!)

Well, I tried to convince him to my level best. Life is not as serious as we make it to be. Life is very simple if we want to make it simple. We try to pursue things which might possibly be out of our reach and when we feel we can't get it, we become frustrated. Same thing applies to love... We pursue it... until we get it we don't rest... When its evasive, we try to follow it. We just cease to understand its value the moment we get it. When we get it, it loses its value at times. People soon forget the struggles(in case they had) associated with it.

People don't realize that expecting too much could be a huge deterrent to their relationship. Coming to my friends problem, he loved this girl for a couple of years, about 7-8 if I'm not mistaken. Finally after being in a relationship and being deeply in love, the girl decides to go with her parents wishes and break up with him. He is totally shattered. Now that love is evasive, he tries to go behind it and in the melee hurts himself more. He is unable to see her going away from her. He is unable to reason it out that it is finally her life and she has got a say in it. Its she who can decide whether she wants to be with him or no. He can't force her to do things she is not confident or sure of...

He can only control his life. I had a tough time telling him how precious life is. There are people who don't get a second chance... there are people who yearn for a complete life... There are people with disabilities, but still want to lead a normal life... There are dying people who just wish they had a few more years to live so as to take care of their kids and see them growing...

And here i have a friend, who just refuses to say that he wants to live. How do i convey to him the importance of life. Life... A date with life... When God has given us such a beautiful thing called as life, why do we show so much of a disrespect to it? Can't we devote our life to something much better, life devote it for a cause? I could put that point forward to him...

After lots of convincing finally he said that he'll let her Go... But... He will love no other... he will keep thinking about her and will not think of marrying any other girl... the same old story... "I have lost interest in life". Well, He can probably join some organization, some non profit organization and be a service to mankind and humanity...

He has a decent job in the Gulf. What else is required for a man to stay alive? A family back home... Agreed that love is very important in life .. but, if you keep yourself and your heart open, love will somehow find a way to your heart... these are my words to him... "There is no dearth of girls in this world, sometimes in life, u'l find a girl for yourself who will love you unconditionally, there is only a need to keep yourself open".

Probably till then he can join some non profit organization ... There are so many destitute in this world, people who require a roof on their heads, children requiring some patron who can sponsor either their education or their survival... There are the old age homes where you can hide yourself and your grief and strive to bring a small smile even though its for a short while... There are lots of people waiting for surgeries and a fresh lease of life, but can't afford them... he can be of some help to them...

There are people affected by natural calamities, probably he can lend a helping hand to them. When God has made you able, why not at least use your ability and help someone, which will liven up their lives and in turn give a different meaning to your life. After all love is not the heart and soul of life... and even though it is, Is it not enough that you gain more love not from a single person, but from a whole lot of them who will be really thankful to you?

Another option of mine to him was to immerse himself in some hobby or try to do something constructive in his leisure, so that it will be easy for him to overcome his grief? Like join some classes be it music, some foreign language class, or whatever... do something which will enhance your personality, add value to you and groom you up... that will be really useful since it will keep you occupied and prevent you from brooding over lost time specially during your leisure.

It is said that time is the greatest healer... and in case of life, it definitely is... With the passage of time, the gravest injuries seem to heal. Why then simply ruin your life over such a petty matter???

I don't know whether my piece of mind will be helpful to my friend. I sincerely wish that it does help him.... coz not many in this world are so privileged to get a life that he is leaving. I definitely wish that he should overcome all his grief and start life afresh... finally its not just a matter of life, its about living it, and... its in our hand how we make use of it and extract the best out of it...

Life, so many things written and said about it...And Death, we feel it will be so easy. We feel it will be so easy to give our life... We die and the problem all ends... But is that true? do we understand the consequences of giving our life? Firstly, it is such a loss to our families, they won't be able to come out of it... and does death really mean the end of life? Probably yes... but why did we live then if we had to die the way we did... Its better to do something worthwhile and be remembered as a person to face life, rather than to be remembered as a coward who couldn't face life ended it... why not make death the beginning of a life, a life in the memories of people who will be affected by our actions...


So... thus ended my date with life. And certainly life dates everyone. Be it a man or a women, the only thing needed is a different angle to see life, the way we perceive it to be. and death??? Death could probably be a new beginning if life is lived for something worthwhile...