The missing link of my life... My Friends

Today il b talking only about my friends.. right from my childhood till today...basically i will divide my friends into 3 categories, best friends, close friends and casual friends...
In my life so many ppl hav left their mark behind... but ya there are many marks erased due to time...

In my childhood.. the friends i considered as "Best friends" were the ones i cud share my tiffin with, chocolates, toys, comics could be easily shared with those.. and there were not many such ppl.. the "Close friends" category ceased to exist at tht time..may be till my 5th grade....Rest everyone fell into the "friends" category.. there were no many things sharing with thes category.. but ya they were nice in their own way.. forming groups to play a game..etc... The memories of childhood friends are so very foggy now in my minds.. those friends whom i once called best friends hav become unknown to me... though ocassionally we meet.. therz nothing more than a "hello" being said...

the second phase of my childhood... uptil say my tenth grade...jus stepping into early teens..... things were different at tht time...my "best friends" included 3-4 ppl.. though there were many secrets at tht time... they were not to be revealed to anyone.. mite b family problems or so... the "close friends" category too included a few whom i resonated well with.. tricks n pranks were very much more at tht time...."friends" category included ppl whom i liked to talk to ..but for some or the other reason they could not b my best friends.... and wid these ppl even today if i meet there is lots of exchanges of smiles n talks..those best friends of mine are still quite close to me even today

My undergraduation days...i specifically dont remember making gud friends... my group from my school were the only ppl i felt comfortable wid... so the ppl i made friends with were just "casual friend" hardly meet these ppl now-a-days...
But ya.. my school friends are the ones who r still close to me..

My College days or so called late teens- early adulthood days are the ones il cherish forever.. my fun filled days... i still remember all the pranks played by me... pranks on teachers..on friends etc.. but these days brought along with them so many new friends.. these were the days i made a lot of very close friends.. i still hav them as my best friends.. secrets...treats..pranks..etc.. in short..the gist of my college days...even now wen i come back home for holidays it so happends tht i make it a point to meet my group... yes...my group...
i dont know how to describe my life during these college days..i made 3 very close friends and 2 best friend...friends of a lifetime to tell my secrets..my worries, my pains and to share my happiness too..the Best days of my life..
Ppl in the hostels, day scholars.. staff members of my college..i enjoyed the time i spent wid each of them..time...4 years seemed to just fly..

My post grad days...away from home for a year and a half.... being a bit apprehensive abt staying in a place away from home made me kinda reserved in the initial period of my stay.. but then professional life thot me so many things.. n i enjoyed my life out there... i made 1 very close friend and 1 best friend..and other casual friends..

so in my entire life till now i can say i hav 2 best friend and 3 very close friends....and a hoard of "casual friends".. i must say i enjoyed a lot wid my casual friends.. its in a group tht u come across so many pranks n laughter.....

my best friends.... watever be the circumstance in my life.. i need to tell to these ppl..else i feel somthing left out.. i jus cant keep anything in mind without telling my best friends.. and i find them wid me everywhere i go... though not physically.. but mentally.. i know.. even in the midnite i can jus ring them up and start telling the silliest of jokes or the most serious of matters..they r always there for me...

I wonder how i would b able to survive in this world if i had not met so many ppl... basically a group person.. i jus hate to b left out..n my friends are the ones who c to it tht i m not left out.. i always find a whole lot of ppl everywhere i go..who r so caring n warm.. in my journey of life i pray i get the same type of ppl as i hav always been meeting..

I must say... my friends---- the missing link of my Life!!

My Expectations from LIFE

I always tried to measure my expectations from life.. i always wanted a life which would be full of adventures..i always wanted a career tht would satiate my desires of leading a carefree life , a life where i would not hav to face many tensions.

A question asked by me to myself.. wat do i really need from my life?? My life, has always been a mystery to me since the time i've known the world..
At the time i was born, i guess the only thing i expected from life was caring, loving parents n only warmth n care..
As life progressed and i became big, my aims n dreams degan to increase, started finding myself into groups called as friends...
Friends became n integral part of life..vil b mentioning in a separate blog topic altogether about my friends..

childhood also brought dreams , dreams to become someone gr8 in life.. priorities being given to become an engineer right from my childhood... but the irony of those times.. engineering was jus engg to me..dint know anything abt the various branches related to engg... anyways...

those innocent childhood wants n dislikes grew along wid me..albeit stronger... childhood dreams of becoming n enggr became my passion in my teens... more so a computer enggr.. it was a craze at tht time... but fate had its turn of events, became n electronics enggr .. but strongly liking the computer field ...drew me more to computers than to electronics n i completed my post graduation into computers... n a very gud job in a very gud company..life has till now fulfilled my wishes..Various stages of life.. various ppl i met...

now if i turn back to hav a look at my life.. the "me" of ten years back stands before me and laughs... where is the innocent time gone??? in my pursuit for career and dreams... i hav lost an innocent, bubbly past behind... friends though trusted hav become few n foes i hardly hav...

i will b away from my family... the family i so desperately needed as n infant and at all times of my life...


i somtimes ask myself.. is this the life i actually asked for??? Humans in their pursuit for material gain n in the name of careers move out to places, leaving the peace n family behind... me too not an exception...even if i try to break the shackles of career and run back to my times so innocent i cant... the urge to be amongst the best and to make my family so-called more financially solid, i hav to stay away from them..wat a tragedy..

The stages of life... infancy, teens, marriage, family life, death... everyone goes thru the same circle..

but still life must go on... i will be following the same circle of life... will settle, raise a family.. and one day urge my kids to make a career and "name" for themselves.. but can i make a difference???? will always try..and tht will depend upon time..

ya..i do hav a tendency to break away from the routine after all i being an "Aquarian" hates to be bound to the routines of life.. will definitely want to make a difference... rather than life drifting me away to a destination i never thot of goin to ...i will like to make my life different from the way it is presently..

I always hav God to guide me in the correct path, my family to back me up in times of distress and my friends to cheer me up wen times are trying...

A life bubbling wid family values, love, warmth.. thts wat i hav always expected right from infancy...and a few friends who'd see to it tht m always happy..

and thats wat i want out of life......

The Faraway lights

As i look out of my hostel window facing the city, i cant but stop and marvel at the faraway lights..
Those lights have always marvelled me right from my college days.. i would always stare at them for hours ..
Me and my friend every day at night would go up the girls hostel terrace, where i spend 4 years of my college days... she would gaze at the sky and i would be staring at the faraway lights.. late at night... i can say till morning 3am.
I still cant figure out wat is it that fascintes me so much about them, i just become mesmerised by their sight..

now as those college years hav passed and i hav come into this corporate world, i still cant help but stand near my hostel window looking out for the lights, late into the night. I mind starts falling into the memories, the memories of the sweet lil times i had back at home and back guring my college days..

i start wondering about my friends, my stay at my room, my roommate and my best friend, my college and all the good old times that i shared with my friends..
Now here out into this big city world, i sometimes feel anonymous and lost.. i feel like a lost identity and that is the time the window and the stars come to my relief..

There were times wen i felt i shud be amongst the lights i see so often ...but then how is it possible? the lights which seem so together n which seem like one while shining are themselves so scattered.. just like our friends...each hav their own identity.. but are all one at heart..
the lights remind me of my friends ..Though i still hav a gr8 circle of friends out here... the life at my college ..the ups and downs that i had .. the friends i had... everything seems like just yesterday...

as life goes on the memories never fade...they are rooted deep inside our minds... and the faraway lights out there just make their presence felt.. even after changing places... i will still hav the my faraway lights to comfort me wenever i feel the need for my past days!!

My Angels

From the time immortal, God has blessed us with the best of his angels..... i call them parents!
I just cant describe exactly in words wat i feel like... coz wenever i sit down to give a vent to my feelings about them, i end up with moistened eyes and a crying heart....

Away from home, as i am here, i somtimes feel a need for them to be around...
at times wen i feel a bit dejected, its my heart that yearns not for the words, as words can be heard with a single phone call... but their mere presence....

Can i just enumerate the things that my angels hav done for me?????wen i ask this question to myself... i endup just counting n counting.. n finally i decide, wen my life itself is due to my angels, they hav a presence in everything tht i do .... i belong to them completely...

There are times wen i miss those moments ..... they are so many of them....

My angels.... they thought me to be myself, to stand on my own, they gave me the courage wen hope seemed to be hopeless.... they gave me the attention wen i felt useless, They gave me the push wen i really needed that Go... and they still are giving me all that... i can count as priceless!!

I most of the times wonder... everything that they warned me of, every word that they had said... turned out to be true... n ya god gave them the best of experience to guide me...

In this world, These angels sent by God hav been my greatest of support n my strength wen i needed them the most...

I Thank you God for all the good things that u hav given me... n above all ...i thank you for the wonderful 2 angels that u hav bestowed upon me....

My Belief

I strongly believe that watever happens is for the best and i dont hav any second thoughts abt it.
This belief of mine has accumulated from the past many years of my life ..
Things which i had thought to be curses have turned out to be blessings in disguise for me.
When i was a kid, or even a teen.. i used to sometimes wonder why things dont turn out to be how we want them to.. but now i strongly believe that they do so because God has a special purpose for them not to be!
If u at all trust me, believe me... If u wait for God's decision n leave the decision upto him,He will do the best for you...

Those days wen i feel let down

Today was one of the days wen life seemed useless..i dont know the reason for it, might be after a day's tiring work at office where i am currently doing a project for the completion of my final semester MS.
Life during one of these days for me becomes very sulky and boring.. thts wen i take time to just revive my lost spirit... engaging into a bit of reading or just sleeping or some good music.
I certainly dint know wat to do today so jus thot of creating a blog n penning down some thots.. and here i am.. thot of doing something creative n heres my first blog!